i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize