Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
