did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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