But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
