she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
