Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
