we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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