The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's not a walk of shame if you run
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
