im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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