I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
