i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
