How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
