he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize