Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
vagina is talking i cant
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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