counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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