Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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