Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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