When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
