Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
