I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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