I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
