I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i love accidental penises.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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