im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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