Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize