porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
