I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
