sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
