is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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