well you can't waste a boner
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
