Midget sex pt 2 tonight
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize