YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize