if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
