Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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