That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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