you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
