So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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