Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
