You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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