Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize