Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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