he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize