So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
