11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize