Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
