I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I need a burrito and a hug.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
