Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
