Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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