Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
