I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
its not stalking. its research.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
