i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Even my vagina gasped.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
