ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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