Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
