dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
