Its about making memories worth repressing
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize