this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
