I'd wear matching sweaters with you
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
