maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
