I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize