is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
