Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
